Princess Free Fall:- Hope Not Found

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair,
Above I shall climb the stair,
Letting down her hair out from her tower,
Not knowing who has called from the lower.

It was just an invitation,
For friends, a little celebration,
Heart called out for his presence,
Dismay, he's out the field outside the fence.

What can words say,
It's all her support day by day,
Freedom dispersed in the air,
He may not climb her long hair.

Party still had to go on,
Heart never dare to hope on,
Priorities are different,
Give is all she had always given.

Strength in faith she relies,
Positivity ever she eyes,
For without him, hearts are close,
Just a tear, never going to lose.

Hope on his promises,
The only can she believes,
Hope in heart greatly abound,
Physically, a hope not found.

Love is...

...when I make no room for reasons to give any reason not to sacrifice...

What If....

What if noise stopped its reminder,
What if life uncolored turns purple,
What if new life in foreign land,
What if things went out of hand,
Should I.....?
Would I.....?

What if decisions made and time never waits,
What if flight took off and it was too late,
What if nothing could stop it,
What if nothing stops the heart beat,
Must I....?
Can I....?

What if everything isn't the same,
What if it wasn't according to plan,
What if life was even harder,
What if balloons became lighter,
How do I....?
What do I....?

What if words were not action,
What if action was not completion,
What if completion was aimed not,
What if aimed was merely just a knot,
Why am I....?
Who am I....?

Tired is he the mind kept running,
As the clock never stopped ticking,
Pausing to find her heart stomping,
Having the couple hands do their typing,
Breathe oh air into lungs of suffocation,
Resting eyes for relaxation.

Creation

Genesis 1:31
Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that is was very good!
[NLT]

As she looked at her computer,
All she had was Excel sheets of boring formulas,
Raw materials, its uses, characters and its ratio,
Putting on her thinking cap,
In darkness before her light bulb glow,
Selecting the best materials suited its purpose,
Testing its qualities to its maximum,
Concoction of colors she had made,
Beautify the smiles of clients face,
The creator sights on her own product,
As it fulfilled its purpose,
Coloring the lives of others,
Delights her heart.

Paint Me Invisible

Left nothing itself could it change,
Purple flowers turned brownish blue,
Sightly breeze along its wave,
Tender touch unreachable.

Riding along paths within its range,
Revealing nothing that was ever true,
Walking down its path towards the grave,
Quietness lighting variables.

Creaking sounds of the hinge,
Mysteriously giving no clue,
Rush of fire rages to save,
Stunned but it's quenchable.

Immersing felt the tinge,
Painting walls of no hue,
Warmth felt in the dark cave,
Painting me invisible.

Gentleness

Gentleness is a man walking beside leading me the way and at the same time looking out for my safety - a body guard portraying his strength and leadership at the same time loving.

Gentleness is anger subsided with a hug - like a teddy bear.

Gentleness is a glance of sight sending signal of love.

Gentleness is a sigh forgiving negative thoughts.

Gentleness is an alert to be a guardian angel for a special someone.

Gentleness is wordless action full with expression of love.

When Love Fails...

Sometimes we expect much out from love...

"If you loved me, you would have paid attention to me"
"If you loved me, you would have understand me better"
"If you loved me, you should have taken me for who am I"
"If you loved me, you should have listened to my cries"

Sometimes we don't think the other way round...

"If you love me, I would like to pay attention to you too"
"If you love me, I would have understand you more"
"If you love me, I should take you for who you are"
"If you love me, I should have listened to your advices"

Sometimes we thought...

"I have loved you so much but you didn't love me"
"I have sacrificed so much but you never did knew about it"
"I have given so much but you never cared"
"I have hurt so much for you but you never understand"

Sometimes we forget that...

"I loved you so much, I hope you feel loved"
"I sacrificed so much, I hope you well"
"I given so much, I hope you are filled"
"I been hurt so much, I hope you are always smiling"

Real love for me is to be able to sacrifice for others while standing strong no matter how hurt you are and people did not appreciate it. I do not mind being stupidly in love for anyone [I mean friendship/relationship/any ships], but that is how Jesus dies on the cross for the people He loves... He doesn't complaint, neither should I.

It is not worth to cry the whole world about how much people do not love you... but it is worth to love the whole world without crying.

Well... I have a praise report... my mom is going to her church for bible study after so many years... God does amazing things in life, doesn't He? *smiles*

Dawn

Thoughts speaking in like a dashing speed of light,
Priorities were left aside enjoying time in silence,
Praising the love filling the well of emptiness,
Faith lifts as wings of prayer sung in joy,
Hunger for warmth of words ever comforting,
Dreams in a heart, wonders how far it would go,
Reflection of life, wondering thoughts questions of future,
Rising sun as all things on earth takes its colors,
Rising desire as creation starts its point,
Comparisons, yet the greatest is He in me,
Hunger of emotions went numbed,
Nothingness felt, wordless journey,
Along the flow of rivers missing emotion,
Drawing closer to eternal love,
Under His Wings embracing dawn.

Schwarzkopf Experience Part 2

It was early morning I woke up and got ready, took my cereal breakfast and off I went to TM Tower. 0730 was the time I need to be there, but looking at my time and the slight jam, my pumpkin's radio showed 0710... I thought I was late, but I reached Henkel Malaysia, on time.

I saw Fara, Judy and another model was sitting at the receptionist waiting for the artists, stylists to arrive - then Li May came. We had a cup of hot chocolate/coffee at the pantry, then came the make up artist. He get his cup of coffee and we start off with my make up.

I am a chemist and I work in a small lab in a factory. I deal with lots of workers and production site people. I never wore make up to work - but only dress up for functions, events, church and weekends. My make up artist was a little unhappy about my brows... I never shaped them or keep them symmetrical.... In fact - my hair was 4 years not touched by any saloon - I am all natural.

He got his skills into work, sighing for awhile and few minutes later he got to the foundations, my eyes - and he realized I am not used to make up as he puts the eye liner for me - I was always blinking my eyes... I guess one of the requirement of a model is not to blink the eyes when eyeliner being painted to your eyes! Then Kroboth and Sascha came into the room. Making the ambient into a cheery one, we greeted each other a good morning.

Checking with Tom Kroboth about my make up, he got the idea how the boss wants me to look like. Half way, Tom gave us a short training on stage cat walk, where we need to show off the hair and the hair color. Then I continued my make up artist's session. He puts the fake lashes, painted my lips to a sexier lips and off I went with the 2 Schwarzkopf ladies to get my hair washed and conditioned.

They dress the models in Schwarzkopf bathrobes, then sat me on the back stage as I was the first to be up on stage. First they introduced Tom's bio-data - I think he is a great guy, he was from Vidal Sassoon for some years before he joined Schwarzkopf. He is flexible, artistic, creative and doesn't let any disappointments to get into his mood. Just a sarcastic remark from him, and that is it, he arranges back the event into order. I would like this kind of a boss - a problem solver. He won many awards in the fashion world, a make up artist too himself and worked on many famous models before. I am wowed by the fact that I know him for this short while.... His assistant Rohn Sascha, also great - very calm at all times and also a smooth process person.

Then Tom introduced how he was inspired with the style that he is going to teach them. He even thought of cheaper hairstyles to suit the economic crisis. For that day, he would show them the 40s, 80s, Dark Amazons, and Out of Shape styles. Then I was called out to stage as Tom held my hands and ushered me to the seat on stage and started to get to work. I just seat there and be a model! lol...

I learnt that hairstylists are like geophysicist. They have maps for the head and hairlines and numbered them. Tom also thought the academy/Schwarzkopf group and important lesson - to be precise and detailed at the start and always check where you are going at mid ways so that you do not need to do lots of corrections later on, the hair may go shorter and shorter and your client wouldn't come back to you again. Well, it applies to life too.

It just took Tom around 30 minutes to get my hair cut and blown while teaching the academy. Then I was led off stage. The background back ups, quickly touched up my make up and re-adhere my lashes. The make up artist face lightened up and was so surprised with my looks and he was so happy and said I look completely different. Back again to stage for the next session - Hair Color.

Tom was back stage while the team members came up to stage to teach on the hair color. While the lady was presenting, another lady was doing the color. 30 minutes later, I was directed back to the room and they continued with the coloring.

Time was extremely little, and the lady who did my hair, did the wrong color... they had to redo the color and there where 2 ladies doing my hair which quick hands! 20 minutes to do the hair, rushed me to wash the hair, then in the room, I undress in front of everyone! but the ladies helped me and get into my dress and accessories. Sascha blow my hair dry and there I was going to the stage for the cat walk - no smiles - just show the hair off..

Tom talks about the hair for the 4 models of the day... and :) my job was done.

Schwarzkopf Experience - Part 1

As usual one day, I was doing my daily routine online after my dinner, I just checked through my Facebook, Multiply, Hotmail and Gmail before I go to bed and I got a Facebook message from an unknown Malay lady asking me if I would like to try out for a hair cast.

I was unsure for that moment as I do not know what are the details as there were many internet scams around. Therefore I replied her asking her for more details. Well, she added me and her whole profile made me had more confident with her as she is the same age as me working for a creative agent - DotStudio. Telling me that it is at Henkel Malaysia - I am confident this was not a scam. *relieved*

So, there was I, in the morning at Menara TM @ Henkel Malaysia @ Schwarzkopf's Studio which another 18 other models. Only 3 of us are from DotStudio agent while the others were from Paul's Agency. There I met the other two models - Fara, student in hair profession and a part time model and Angeline, IT Lecturer in MMU and a part time model & TV cast. The others from Paul's agency were mostly professionals by their looks, skinny, great make ups, great confident walks... I was definitely a stranger or an alien there... but Fara was so bubbly, she was telling me that she was the only Malay there - but I think that she needs to be proud of that! lol... Fara and Angeline were very beautiful. :)

Well, we waited quite long for them to start... as we waited for the Schwarzkopf Ambassador, Tom Kroboth:-

He was really nice, in fact, the whole team was very nice - they tolerate those models that do not want to have short hair, those who can't make it on whichever day, they rescheduled their programs. For more reads about him: Tom Kroboth

First, they tell us of what kind of hairstyle they are going to do as they prepared for their seminar for the Schwarzkopf group from all around the world for the Fall Autumn Season for 2009... pictures were not in the net yet - I hope I can get some pictures from Schwarzkopf during that day.

Then Tom and his team had a look of each of us one by one to ask of our preferences. I got the 80s look. He will cut, color and style my hair. They will provide me a designer dress - my favorite green!! plus make up artists provided, shoes and accessories... *excited*

Well, it is not a public event but being able to meet up with an ambassador of one of the most famous brand in the world.... touching my virgin hair... it's like overly exciting! lol... Well... yea, only my hair is the virgin hair... other model's already had their hair straightened, curled and others... As for the guys - there were 4 of them extremely tall and handsome!! but they were disqualified because their hair were too short - any guys out there with long fringe for daring cuts?? I will intro you to be a model too. :P

Anyway, back to the story... other models were so calmed and as if they knew what they are going through... I am like... wowed by them. :) We changed into the dresses for that day - they took picture of us just to remember what are we on that day...

Well, 18th of August - 0730 [still thinking how to explain to my boss!!!!], I need to be at the studio for the seminar... hope I can get to know the world wide hairstylists from Schwarzkopf as much as I can... :)

That is the power of Facebook :P I have widened my networks...

Manga Me

A promo item a facebook friend as he uses my portrait - Manga Me and I got this art for free. :)

A Letter To My Future Child

Dear child,

I have been thinking what would you be like when you come into my life. I have been expecting you. Thinking to myself what kind of mother would I be, I though that I want to be your best mom that you will ever be proud of. I wonder what would it be like when you grow in my womb. I wonder how your kick in my tummy would be like. I wonder how much pain would I suffer in fight to give a life to you. I wonder if I am still awake to hear your first cry. I wonder how would you look like. I wonder how tiny would you be in my arms when you are first put into my hands... I want to deliver you healthily and safely.

Dear child,

What would it be like for me to grow with you? I thought to myself that I want to go through every cries and laughter with you, bitter or sweet, in good times and in bad times. I wonder how would I react when you start to say the first words or step the first step. I know I would be proud to have you. I want to love you more than anything else. I want to see you smile and play happily. Learn new things and explore new worlds. I want to go through with you. You will be my precious.

Dear child,

How would it be when you first step into school without my presence. Would you cry or would you be brave? Don't worry, I will keep watch of you from far. I want you to learn to make new friends, discover new things and learn to communicate with the world. I wonder how would you come home to tell me of the things your friends did to you or done together - sharing jokes and laughter, playing games - learning how to conquer your world. I wonder how would you cope with your studies... don't you worry, I will go through it all with you. We shall learn together.

Dear child,

Would you be interested to learn music? Or perhaps play sports? How active are you? I wonder to myself, would you share everything you learn with me? Would you express your feelings to me? I want to go through everything with you as you are my flesh and blood. I wonder what would be your talent, we shall discover your talents one by one - me and you.

Dear child,

I wonder how great it would be we could bake cakes together, experiment new recipe and surprise daddy with our new inventions. I wonder how wonderful it would be when we fix home, paint new colors into our home. I thought to myself, perhaps we will make a great team to fix our home into a warm and comfy one.

Dear child,

Would you hate me during your puberty? Would you ignore me when you found yourself trying to become an adult? Would we scream at each other during times of missed communication? Would you hate me? I hope you don't, I want to go through all these with you. I want to be your best friend and learn to love each other more and more.

Dear child,

I wonder how proud I would be when I see you achieving great goals with flying colors. But don't worry about failures, we plant a better character in us when we learn from failures. I will go through this with you. Be strong and persevere. Be patient. I hope to listen to your sharing about life from your perspective. I want to learn from you. I want to be your best friend.

Dear child,

My thoughts indeed went far far and beyond even before you existed into my life... I wonder of the times when you first graduated from a grad school. I wonder if you do work hard for it, did you ever eat and sleep well? I hope you do... I hope you have fun during your university life. It is fun. I want to see the vibrant you. I hope to hear stories from you. I want to go through all with you.

Dear child,

I wonder when would it be your first love. I know you will learn to get hurt by someone or by your best friend. I am always ever open to listen to your bad times and give you a warm hug when you need it. Love hurts but it is worth it. You learn from loving and love is also what I have for you.

Dear child,

I thought to myself of the first day of your wedding, I think I would be touched and tears of joy would be rolling down my cheek. I wonder how would you share about your marriage with me. I wonder how your stories would be. I want to listen to you. I want to be there with you even though you are starting a new life without needing my worries anymore. I love you, I know I shouldn't worry too much - you have to learn to fly on your own.

Dear child,

I hope I do give you a great life to live with me. I wouldn't neglect you nor would I say things that do not make sense. I wouldn't ignore or treat you cold wars. You are my precious. I will never scold you in my worst emotions that your are worthless. I will never say things to crush your soul. I want to be your edifying and loving mother. I hope to be your best. I love you dearly and you are God-given to me. I will treasure you with all my heart and soul.

Dear child,

Smile... I hope to give you a colorful happy life with all my might as much as I could do for you... I want you to live a life better than my past. I love you dearly.

Love,
Antonia Lim

Insomnia

Mind on the train,
Staring up on the ceiling,
Gazing at nothing.

Body in pain,
In silence and darkness,
Harboring heaviness.

Eyes a pair, rain,
Washes through clean,
Nothing against to lean.

Searching in vain,
Queries of curiosity,
Looking for simplicity.

Crying heart gain,
For His Loving arm,
For peace and calm.

The Giant Slayer

As he picked up his 5 stones,
From the ever flowing rivers,
He chose the smoothest stones,
Five is only what he gathers.

In his little journey,
Stone of the Past reveal,
What he learnt from his memory,
Experience of his life, none could steal.

In his heart and mind,
Stone of Prayer sang,
In bad times, and in times when he was fine,
Power he gain, sharp as fang.

Aiming his shot to the giant,
Stone of Priority flew,
Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven,
And all these shall be added unto you.

Into the earth, the giant was plunging,
Stone of Passion glare,
Alert, fire in him kept burning,
Towards the giant with anticipation, eyes flare.

Picking up the sword, giant slayed,
Stone of Persistence keep,
Never giving up, everyday,
Motto of live, inside kept deep.

Five stones were rough,
Smoothen without recess,
All these are tough,
Life is a process.

Sun and Flower

As much as she could, brightly shining,
Open rays of hers, sweetly smiling,
Sunny and cheerful day.

Little flower bud, swiftly growing,
Happy was the Sun, sightly watching,
Naturally like sisters to play.

Colourful flowers, quickly blooming,
As little flower spreads her loving,
Protects each other at the bay.

Passion of fire burning,
Sun shines her light unfailing,
But face of little flower turns away.

All Sun needs was hands of helping,
To keep the pastures greening,
Pain she felt, feeling gray.

How much she gave words encouraging,
Turns back words disappointing,
Eventhough plans lead successfully its way.

Flower grow without sense of belonging,
Everything sun did felt like nothing,
Deeply in Him, let come what may.

Happy Sun when Flower swaying,
By the winds as she looks rejoicing,
A prayer for her for a life full of gay.

Acceptance of Sun always forgiving,
Words of unfaith, discouraging,
May flower trusts her ability as foundations lay.

Flower in emotions, spirit life in stiring,
Strong she is, as the sun is believing,
Humble heart, moulding clay.

Bitter and sweet, matter of relating,
Trust is all ever she have as giving,
May trust is shared, never slay.

-antonia f.l.lim-

Zero Agenda

Happy was the heart as all gathered,
Happy was the random already mingled,
Happy was the travel safe, unharmed,
Happy was the breezy winds blown, feeling calmed.

Without any intentions, without any agendas,
Just a meal with loads of chatter,
Overlooking, observing, listening and yada-yada-yadas,
Hoped everything was great and just pure laughter.

*smiles*

Lights of the city, great scenery,
Sheets of stars mesmerising,
Cool blowing wind, so breezy,
A night showers of blessing.

*wide smile*

Glass Jar

Time passes by
Swiftly as the wind
Effort of a blowing glass
Pieces it made
Brokened by noise
Highly in decibles
Need not a second
Effortless it broke

Pieces shot high
Pointless they went
Finding place for rest
All over a mess
Great is the patience
Of a learning-glass-blower
Picking up pieces by pieces
Moulding back its shape

Time and effort
Gentle and peace
Patience and skills
Experience and wisdom
Blow
Shape
Control
Confidence

Into a little glass jar
An end-result
Not perfect
But first step done
Practice
Refine
Discipline
Persistence

Glass jar
Do not break again
For sculpting task not easy
Make the room pretty again

Princess Free Fall - After Silence

Gone was one moon and a half,
Fact of life is always tough,
Let it free and moving on,
No longer time to mourn,
Rapunzel let down her hair,
Things done fair and square.

Tigger upgraded as wise old owl,
Life stories analyst, a "thank you" bow,
Man of the Wood went on with his life,
As she sees him happier, a motivation drive,
Sensei likes thrills and doing things crazy,
Sets a club for fans in FB.

Friends in Pearl of the Orient settling down,
Mushrooming babies in the little town,
Peers of hers came to meet her up,
Hugs and kisses and lots of catch up,
New friends appears as she walked into new places,
Making memories together with new faces.

Mother is not as stern as ever,
As long as Rapunzel is clever,
To make sure that she is not in danger,
Going out late nights and whenever,
At least a person to be with her,
Til her door steps, everything clear.

Rapunzel had a perfect dream,
But it was not for anyone to win,
Lost was the dream as memories faded,
As time ticks as she felt jaded,
Gone was the perfect dream,
As left was him.

Building up again an ideal dream,
No mistakes should be in,
Careful selection of its material,
Decision made will be for real,
A strong house made with strong base,
God is the answer in this case.

Words

Words, seems so real,
But broken and failed,
Words, kept a treasure,
Spent away as leisure,
Words, gave tiny hope,
Bitterly down its slope,
Words, of a little smile,
Became laughter a pile,
Words, of enchanted charm,
Swallowed thorns of harm,
Words, gave air of breath,
Choked into its death,
Words, of perfection,
Lies, road of no completion.

Sing Me a Song

Sing me a song to the dreamland,
On the beach, getting tanned,
Sing me a song to offshore,
Open my eyes, open the heart door,
Sing me a song to deeper seas,
Flying over the prairies,
Sing me a song to greater heights,
Over looking without sights,
Sing me a song to sun rise,
Sound so sweet and nice,
Sing me a song of peace,
Battles shall be eased.
Sing me a song to sleep,
Warmth in heart to keep.

Storm

Penetrating lightning,

Into the heart of the Earth,

Splashing heavy droplet,

Rushing of water,

Pain of dark skies,

Hiding the face of flight,

Anger of blissful wind,

Thrusting sound of thunder,

Hurting pinch of cold,

Oh, Heart of the Earth,

May peace of dove releases you.

Queen of Hearts

Queen of Hearts,
Hot like tarts,
So captivating,
Very enticing,
Pots of boiling hare,
Make us a perfect pair.

Tigger dreams as he bounces,
On his way to Gates of Graces,
Thoughts of his enthralling beauty,
So bold as indeed she is pretty,
Feelings held towards her subjects,
Cruel demands, off with their heads.

So highly yet she takes notice,
On this little novice,
Never before Tigger had a partner,
Never ever in this manner,
From the Gates into the Hall of Heavens,
Search of sight, beauty among maidens.

Up to the altar,
Just a simple desire,
As the High Priest lays his hands,
Lowered his head, Tigger bends,
Shower of ray,
Blessing of the day.

Lady Queen took special concern,
Any hearts would turn,
Exchange of letter,
Days came better,
Went to theaters,
And for dinners.

Admire, he was to her,
Secretly as he cheer,
Taking one step at a time,
Beauty of sublime,
Inner excitement, a nuisance,
Outer perseverance.

Off goes Lady Queen for a mission,
But Tigger had a vision,
Day and night he practises,
For his lady whom he misses,
Skills of Sword he learnt,
Passion deeply burnt.

With Panda brothers every night,
Towards the goal in suits of knight,
Pooh Bear came to call,
For a gathering for them all,
For a toast towards victory,
A prize of ivory.

Across the oceans Tigger travels,
On his little ship of barrels,
In search of new green pasture,
Where the wind stops, be it nature,
Word came across to Lady Queen,
Worries, feeling so mean.

At last, wind stops to blow,
Tigger was happy and ready to glow,
A new beginning of challenges,
Different views and ranges,
New home as he sets to build,
While in search for a guild.

Queen of Hearts sent a dove,
And starts off the friendship love,
In his patience he will wait,
As it is never too late,
For invitation from her,
To the Temple of Light and for dinner.

As Tigger received her scroll,
Bouncing as he rock and roll,
A step closer to his queen,
Something not to be too keen,
Oh what will this friendship ends to be?
The next episode we shall see.

untitled

Living with 20 honeys,
5 for the stationed,
5 for the running,
5 for the legs,
1 for the hearing,
2 should be for the Head,
but used most for the stationed,
left none for the Head and none for myself.

Living with 1 smile,
Gone half to the rushing,
Gone half to the stationed
Left none to shine at.

Living with full tank energy,
3/4 of it gone to the rushing,
1/4 gone with the stationed,
left none for myself.

Rose did the dead,
But dead is the rose,
Pricking thorns,
Endless pain.

Voice of life spoke,
But voice of death speaks,
Threatened to win,
But heart of loss.

Standing high above,
Looking down below,
Sight with visions,
Tears of illusion.

Colours

In a paper of white,
Shiny yellow sun dane,
Shining in a sky of blue,
Ripples of aquamarine sea,
Green swaying coconut trees,
Glowing of golden sand,
With far sight of green mountains,
Flowers of pink and violet,
Looking upon high soaring brown eagle,
Reading papers of grey,
Beautiful beige covers for table,
A round platter with a pair of silver knife and fork,
One red meat with two pieces of bread,
Sipping fresh juice of orange,
Enjoying the colours of life.

In the TRAPezium

Lord,

I am struggling with situations in my life.
You have said, "Honour your parents",
I have made my choice to throw the dream,
And to follow what they want me to do,
And make them happy.

You also taught me, "Not to complain",
My heart is hurtful, but I must not complain,
I only need to pour them out to you,
Because You are the Only One for me,
You know me best.

You have said, "Love your enemies",
I find it hard to forgive them,
In Your Mighty Name, forgive them,
For they do not know the hurt You feel,
I feel it too.

In Your Name, forgive me,
For I have been negative,
For I hated the things that went wrong,
For I hated to live in this cage,
I know Lord, Your Love for me,
It is forever unfailing.

Your promises are always kept,
You know how hard for a human heart to accept these,
But I am trying my best,
I want to be righteous,
I want to have a bigger heart to love,
I want a closer relationship with You,
I want to depend on You,
I want to bless Your Name in my daily life,
These are all I have to offer to You,
I promise I will do my best for You.

Dear Lord,
I am crying out to You,
Don't just tell me You are here in me,
Speak to me, show Your Face,
I need You. I need You, Lord.

Let Your Glory shine,
Let me be your instrument,
Let me shine in Your Mighty Name.
Amen.

Lonely Night

Surrounded walls of blue,
Wondering if there was a clue,
Within her heart, just be true,
Making life varieties of hue.

Smack! Goes one bloodthirst,
Disturbing her work at first,
Icthing making it all worst,
Now dead, tummy burst.

Night alone with heart to write,
Working with joy at her site,
Event of the day - the last rite,
Enjoying the moment of lite.

Awaiting for the faintly tone,
Once it did, her face brightly shone,
If only he had a clone,
But good, as they were best left alone.

Smiles in this quietness,
Words exchanged happiness,
Slowly eyes rest in calmness,
With comfort and gentleness.

Disorder

Noisy as it seems,
Quiet as it be,
Thoughts so deep,
Fire of passion,
But dreams with obstacles.

Love of blood,
Unable to depart,
Love of neighbour,
Anytime falls apart,
But time reveals.

Choices are given,
Decisions are made,
One contents the heart,
One kills the hope,
But inspiration died.

Lost and found,
Found but lost,
Lost cannot be found,
If found, may get lost,
But fear of lost.

A True Friendship

This is dedicated to Sze Yan, my closest friend in uni:

Friends on earth are never forever,
If you think so, I think you have a fever,
Not all friends are true,
And remember, only One in heaven loves you,

The time in need is the time indeed,
To look upon Him first, it's the way to lead,
Seek ye first the kingdom of God,
As the Bible tells, listen with your heart, don't just nod.

Relationship with Him, no one can redeem,
Eternal intimacy, a passion of God for you that never dims,
A true friend He will always be,
To you and I, never to Him a "maybe".

As a friend to you, I am just passing by,
All I could offer is just support and a shoulder to cry,
As how you always did the same for me,
I am here always, you know where to find me.

Love,
~ant~

Deliverance

Obvious it was I who shouldn't take,
The turn I took lead me to mistake,
Away I lose myself to a twisting maze,
Consequences after is what I face,
Oh, how graceful God is to me,
Dead end He never let me be,
Sending signs of how wrong I have been,
Back to Your Arms, I am very keen,
Forgive my soul, against You, I have sinned,
Upon His Shoulders I should have leaned,
Help me, oh Lord, make the path straight,
No longer shall I be lost and afraid,
Love me unfailingly, You revealed,
Broken heart of mine, You healed,
Be my shield, my strength,
Throughout my life of insignificant length,
To overcome my weaknesses,
To deliver me from wickedness,
Praise You Lord for remembering,
Your servant here who means nothing,
Yet to You, I am precious,
You alone are my Glorious.

Just For Fun!

Happy happy together selalu,
Sometimes I also got busy like you,
Sometimes got play games with you,
Sometimes also got merajuk with you,

You joking "blablabla", I laughing "hahaha"
Sometimes I think we really gila-gila,
Sometimes we also got serious ma,
Sometimes I think forever we will go lalala..

I go class, you sleeping,
Sometimes drag you to the pool I wishing,
Sometimes want to buy you a clock goes RING RING RING!!!
Sometimes I just lie beside you, also sleeping.

You computer, I also computer,
Sometimes we didn't even talk to each other,
Sometimes talk about father mother,
Sometimes share share emails we get together-gather.

Every 3 hours will hungry-hungry,
Sometimes think of food angry-angry,
Sometimes no food feel lousy-lousy,
But together we are always happy-happy!

Life For Thought

Life Indeed Is...

Life indeed is tough,
The road is winding; the challenges are rough,
Life has much to offer,
When you gone wrong; you will suffer,
Life is not that pretty,
It is yours to protect; no time for pity,
Life is a bit fuck-up,
When u need help; people are stuck-up,
Life is not just a game,
Act like a bump; then you are lame,
Life is endless in nature,
When something just ended; you head for the future,
Life is making you miserable,
You want something; had to beg under the table,
Life is cruel in a way,
Nothing is free; you just got to pay,
Life is quite boring,
Prefer to sleep; dreaming away and snoring, So why are we still living?

Are we so stupid for just believing?
So why are we still standing here?
Are we living in a small round sphere?
So why are we still moving on?
Are we nuts or some-thing's going on?

David - It's strange
_______________________________________________________________

The Fact of Life is....

Life is beautiful,
Appreciate it or you are a fool,
Life is God-Given,
Lovely and precious, never rotten,
Life is eternal,
A nature planted in every internal,
Life don't end in this world,
You are His beloved journal,
Life is with a purpose,
Before you go on crying, identify it first,
Life on Earth - a temporary assignment,
Just to fulfill your mission,
Life is not just what is seen,
But it is also the unseen,
Life is not only one-way,
Easy or hard, you lead yourself day by day,
Life is short on earth,
Treasure it before mortality meets death,
For living life is not so easy,
To encounter all, do have faith in Him completely!!

Do you know how precious you are in His Eyes?
Don't live life with full of lies.
Do you seek for His Graceful Hands?
Don't you know you are one of the selected sands?
Do you think you can do this alone?
Don't just stay there and mourn!

Antonia - You are strange! ;P

Turning Point of My Life

Seven different days with seven different ways,
Seven times He revealed one verse that says;
"My unconditional love for you never fails",
A verse which awakens me from a life of no avail,
From a song that touches my soul,
To a movie with tears I could not hold,
A message of Light which caught my attention,
A testimony so real that I have to mention.
“Was it a miracle or was it just thoughts?”
Seven times He made it crystal clear,
Seven times in me, His presence felt so near,
The warmth of His endless love, the touch of His gentle hands,
A change from an empty desert of cold white sands,
To the person who I am today,
Living with purpose fulfilling each day,
No longer a blank paper that wished to be tore,
As I spread His piercing Words which touches me to the core.
“Will I strife on with the life blessed by a loving God?”
Yes.

The Elephant Jump

Five Four Three Two One,
The giant of the forest went rum pa pump pump,
It was Giant, Mr. Elephant who was heard to come,
What a day has it become?
As Mr. Elephant was challenged to jump!

One heavy trunk and two huge tusks,
Body covered with mud just like body mask,
Four gigantic legs and a tiny string tail,
Two big ears sized of a ship sail,
To jump, a challenge Mr. Elephant had never put to task.

All the creatures of the forest were anticipating,
What if the jump break the world into pieces?
Would the jump of Mr. Elephant be disastrous?
To save the forest, the challenge he took without anxious,
As the Lion sat and smile slyly as he teases.

Five Four Three Two One,
The forest chanted as the countdown started,
With all his might he jumped closing an eye,
A monkey collapsed on the ground with heart-attack and die,
The moment was sealed in silence as his legs landed.

Writer's note

Here am I sitting,
Going on with the writing,
No longer with pens and papers,
Just with the tips of my fingers,
With sense of touch and sight,
Ideas of glowing light,
May the enjoyment of reading be with you,
Reflections and meanings be brought forward due.