A Letter To My Future Child

Dear child,

I have been thinking what would you be like when you come into my life. I have been expecting you. Thinking to myself what kind of mother would I be, I though that I want to be your best mom that you will ever be proud of. I wonder what would it be like when you grow in my womb. I wonder how your kick in my tummy would be like. I wonder how much pain would I suffer in fight to give a life to you. I wonder if I am still awake to hear your first cry. I wonder how would you look like. I wonder how tiny would you be in my arms when you are first put into my hands... I want to deliver you healthily and safely.

Dear child,

What would it be like for me to grow with you? I thought to myself that I want to go through every cries and laughter with you, bitter or sweet, in good times and in bad times. I wonder how would I react when you start to say the first words or step the first step. I know I would be proud to have you. I want to love you more than anything else. I want to see you smile and play happily. Learn new things and explore new worlds. I want to go through with you. You will be my precious.

Dear child,

How would it be when you first step into school without my presence. Would you cry or would you be brave? Don't worry, I will keep watch of you from far. I want you to learn to make new friends, discover new things and learn to communicate with the world. I wonder how would you come home to tell me of the things your friends did to you or done together - sharing jokes and laughter, playing games - learning how to conquer your world. I wonder how would you cope with your studies... don't you worry, I will go through it all with you. We shall learn together.

Dear child,

Would you be interested to learn music? Or perhaps play sports? How active are you? I wonder to myself, would you share everything you learn with me? Would you express your feelings to me? I want to go through everything with you as you are my flesh and blood. I wonder what would be your talent, we shall discover your talents one by one - me and you.

Dear child,

I wonder how great it would be we could bake cakes together, experiment new recipe and surprise daddy with our new inventions. I wonder how wonderful it would be when we fix home, paint new colors into our home. I thought to myself, perhaps we will make a great team to fix our home into a warm and comfy one.

Dear child,

Would you hate me during your puberty? Would you ignore me when you found yourself trying to become an adult? Would we scream at each other during times of missed communication? Would you hate me? I hope you don't, I want to go through all these with you. I want to be your best friend and learn to love each other more and more.

Dear child,

I wonder how proud I would be when I see you achieving great goals with flying colors. But don't worry about failures, we plant a better character in us when we learn from failures. I will go through this with you. Be strong and persevere. Be patient. I hope to listen to your sharing about life from your perspective. I want to learn from you. I want to be your best friend.

Dear child,

My thoughts indeed went far far and beyond even before you existed into my life... I wonder of the times when you first graduated from a grad school. I wonder if you do work hard for it, did you ever eat and sleep well? I hope you do... I hope you have fun during your university life. It is fun. I want to see the vibrant you. I hope to hear stories from you. I want to go through all with you.

Dear child,

I wonder when would it be your first love. I know you will learn to get hurt by someone or by your best friend. I am always ever open to listen to your bad times and give you a warm hug when you need it. Love hurts but it is worth it. You learn from loving and love is also what I have for you.

Dear child,

I thought to myself of the first day of your wedding, I think I would be touched and tears of joy would be rolling down my cheek. I wonder how would you share about your marriage with me. I wonder how your stories would be. I want to listen to you. I want to be there with you even though you are starting a new life without needing my worries anymore. I love you, I know I shouldn't worry too much - you have to learn to fly on your own.

Dear child,

I hope I do give you a great life to live with me. I wouldn't neglect you nor would I say things that do not make sense. I wouldn't ignore or treat you cold wars. You are my precious. I will never scold you in my worst emotions that your are worthless. I will never say things to crush your soul. I want to be your edifying and loving mother. I hope to be your best. I love you dearly and you are God-given to me. I will treasure you with all my heart and soul.

Dear child,

Smile... I hope to give you a colorful happy life with all my might as much as I could do for you... I want you to live a life better than my past. I love you dearly.

Love,
Antonia Lim

Insomnia

Mind on the train,
Staring up on the ceiling,
Gazing at nothing.

Body in pain,
In silence and darkness,
Harboring heaviness.

Eyes a pair, rain,
Washes through clean,
Nothing against to lean.

Searching in vain,
Queries of curiosity,
Looking for simplicity.

Crying heart gain,
For His Loving arm,
For peace and calm.

The Giant Slayer

As he picked up his 5 stones,
From the ever flowing rivers,
He chose the smoothest stones,
Five is only what he gathers.

In his little journey,
Stone of the Past reveal,
What he learnt from his memory,
Experience of his life, none could steal.

In his heart and mind,
Stone of Prayer sang,
In bad times, and in times when he was fine,
Power he gain, sharp as fang.

Aiming his shot to the giant,
Stone of Priority flew,
Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven,
And all these shall be added unto you.

Into the earth, the giant was plunging,
Stone of Passion glare,
Alert, fire in him kept burning,
Towards the giant with anticipation, eyes flare.

Picking up the sword, giant slayed,
Stone of Persistence keep,
Never giving up, everyday,
Motto of live, inside kept deep.

Five stones were rough,
Smoothen without recess,
All these are tough,
Life is a process.

Sun and Flower

As much as she could, brightly shining,
Open rays of hers, sweetly smiling,
Sunny and cheerful day.

Little flower bud, swiftly growing,
Happy was the Sun, sightly watching,
Naturally like sisters to play.

Colourful flowers, quickly blooming,
As little flower spreads her loving,
Protects each other at the bay.

Passion of fire burning,
Sun shines her light unfailing,
But face of little flower turns away.

All Sun needs was hands of helping,
To keep the pastures greening,
Pain she felt, feeling gray.

How much she gave words encouraging,
Turns back words disappointing,
Eventhough plans lead successfully its way.

Flower grow without sense of belonging,
Everything sun did felt like nothing,
Deeply in Him, let come what may.

Happy Sun when Flower swaying,
By the winds as she looks rejoicing,
A prayer for her for a life full of gay.

Acceptance of Sun always forgiving,
Words of unfaith, discouraging,
May flower trusts her ability as foundations lay.

Flower in emotions, spirit life in stiring,
Strong she is, as the sun is believing,
Humble heart, moulding clay.

Bitter and sweet, matter of relating,
Trust is all ever she have as giving,
May trust is shared, never slay.

-antonia f.l.lim-

Zero Agenda

Happy was the heart as all gathered,
Happy was the random already mingled,
Happy was the travel safe, unharmed,
Happy was the breezy winds blown, feeling calmed.

Without any intentions, without any agendas,
Just a meal with loads of chatter,
Overlooking, observing, listening and yada-yada-yadas,
Hoped everything was great and just pure laughter.

*smiles*

Lights of the city, great scenery,
Sheets of stars mesmerising,
Cool blowing wind, so breezy,
A night showers of blessing.

*wide smile*

Glass Jar

Time passes by
Swiftly as the wind
Effort of a blowing glass
Pieces it made
Brokened by noise
Highly in decibles
Need not a second
Effortless it broke

Pieces shot high
Pointless they went
Finding place for rest
All over a mess
Great is the patience
Of a learning-glass-blower
Picking up pieces by pieces
Moulding back its shape

Time and effort
Gentle and peace
Patience and skills
Experience and wisdom
Blow
Shape
Control
Confidence

Into a little glass jar
An end-result
Not perfect
But first step done
Practice
Refine
Discipline
Persistence

Glass jar
Do not break again
For sculpting task not easy
Make the room pretty again

Princess Free Fall - After Silence

Gone was one moon and a half,
Fact of life is always tough,
Let it free and moving on,
No longer time to mourn,
Rapunzel let down her hair,
Things done fair and square.

Tigger upgraded as wise old owl,
Life stories analyst, a "thank you" bow,
Man of the Wood went on with his life,
As she sees him happier, a motivation drive,
Sensei likes thrills and doing things crazy,
Sets a club for fans in FB.

Friends in Pearl of the Orient settling down,
Mushrooming babies in the little town,
Peers of hers came to meet her up,
Hugs and kisses and lots of catch up,
New friends appears as she walked into new places,
Making memories together with new faces.

Mother is not as stern as ever,
As long as Rapunzel is clever,
To make sure that she is not in danger,
Going out late nights and whenever,
At least a person to be with her,
Til her door steps, everything clear.

Rapunzel had a perfect dream,
But it was not for anyone to win,
Lost was the dream as memories faded,
As time ticks as she felt jaded,
Gone was the perfect dream,
As left was him.

Building up again an ideal dream,
No mistakes should be in,
Careful selection of its material,
Decision made will be for real,
A strong house made with strong base,
God is the answer in this case.